Things No One Tells You About Motherhood

There are so many things that have caught me off guard about motherhood.  Some are great, some are more challenging.  Everyone tends to give the same advice to expectant mothers, though.  “Sleep while you can!”  “Sleep when she sleeps!”  “Read every book ever created!”  “Feed her this, don’t feed her this!”  That’s all nice and everything, but why doesn’t anyone ever tell you the real stuff?  The stuff that happens and you’re like, “What the what is this?!”  That’s what people need to be talking about so we new mothers are not flipping our shiz thinking we are nuts.

No one tells you…

… That your life is never going to look one ounce the same again.  I guess they kind of do warn you about this, but no one could really ever make you understand it.  How can we comprehend that one moment is going to turn our lives 180 degrees from where they were five minutes before? 

… How LONG it takes to get out of the house to go ANYWHERE!  It doesn’t matter if we’re going to the park, going to spend the day out running errands, going to visit family or friends, or driving 3 miles down the road to the gas station.  No matter what, I know now that I have to automatically add an extra 30 - 45 minutes to our “getting ready” time.  Inevitably, even 9 months later, there WILL.BE some kind of setback or catastrophe or natural disaster if I wait to the last minute to leave.  This is a proven fact.

… To buy a good vacuum, because your pregnant belly is really harboring a miniature billy goat who will have the ability to find a grain of sand in the carpet and put it in her mouth.  I mean, my child ate grout that she picked out of the crease where the floor meets the wall when we first moved into our new house, for the love.

… That “dinner time” is over.  For a long, long time I’d imagine.  In its place is now cutting up the food on your plate because the mini-garbage-disposal already ate all of her own, picking up bananas and avocado off the floor before it dries and gets hard, trying to keep sticky fingers out of her hair (a losing battle), keep the assembly line of cutting your food and putting it on her plate while maintaining a constant 5+ pieces on her tray in order to avoid a meltdown, and some sort of semblance of eating your own meal.  No one ever tells you that 9 times out of ten, you will prefer this kind of action, though, because it will serve as a reminder of so many blessings in your life.

… To never give her a bath before dinner.

… How motherhood can affect your friendships with your friends who do not yet have children of their own.  (Definitely one of the more challenging things.)

… That the sound of little squeals and chatter on the baby monitor is never annoying or a burden – no matter what time it is. 

… That you may actually enjoy waking up in the night to go feed her and love on her.  Plenty people are quick to tell you how much you will not enjoy it, but no one really ever says, “You will get a rush of adrenaline and excitement when you hear your baby up, and you will feel like you can’t get in the nursery fast enough to pick them up and get some snuggles!”  They should really say that.

… That you will feel naked, and like you are forgetting something, every time you leave the house without that baby.  When a piece of yourself is not with you, it’s a strange and lonely feeling.

… That one smile, one moment of eye contact, one giggle, one open-mouth kiss, one little hand rubbing your arm will melt you into a giant puddle every single time.  No one tells you that the novelty never wears off.  People are too quick to talk about the noisiness, the chaos, the messes, the defiance.  No one tells you that being a mother means you get the joy of falling in love all over again, every single moment of the day.

Why do we do that?  Why are we so quick to “warn people” about the less-than-pleasant moments of parenting?  Why don’t we spend more time telling people about the joy, the fulfillment, the love that grows deeper and deeper with each passing moment, the pure bliss of it all?  How come no one ever says, “Hey, no matter how sleep-deprived, adult-conversation-deprived, stressed, anxious, and over-worked you feel, you will only have to look at that precious angel one time and none of it will even matter anymore.  No, life will never be the same, but you will be so grateful that it won’t.”  No, every moment won’t be perfect.  But I can promise one thing – the joy that comes along with this amazingly wild little mess-maker is about as close as you can get.

 

Letters to Lily

When I was born, my mom started writing letters to me in a journal.  Not every day, not even always every week, but often.  When I was first born, when she went back to work, major holidays, minor holidays, regular "days," big family events, milestones, etc.  She kept writing in them for about 3 years!  When I was in high school, she gave me the journals.  To this day, that is one of the most incredible gifts I've ever received.  I keep them with me, and always have them to read when I'm having a bad day or need a little pick-me-up.  Such an amazing gift.

Naturally, when I found out I was pregnant, I started doing the same thing for Lily.  I have written her over 100 letters since then, and cherish them so much.  Some of them are long, some are very short, some are silly, some are serious.  Every one ends with "I love you to the moon and back."  Occasionally I will share some of them here.  I may even go back one day when I have more time and create a "Letters to Lily" section on here and put a few of the most special letters up.  But for today, I will share her 9-month letter.

April 13, 2013

Happy 9 months, sweet angel!  It feels like this was the fastest month yet!  I swear, I really think time goes faster and faster as the days go on.  It is such a bittersweet thing, too.  Sometimes I do look at you and think, “Really?  Where did that little 7lb 4oz girl go?!”  But every other moment of my day, I look at you and think, “Wow.  We created that?!  How is she so beautiful, so sweet, so smart, so funny?  How did we get so lucky?!” 

 

You really seem to be the very best parts of each of us, which is so crazy to me still.  I can’t even explain how magnetic and totally infectious your personality is.  Total strangers are constantly stopping us to tell us how beautiful you are, or how much personality you have.   As a mother, it’s an incredible feeling to know that the rest of the world sees your baby just like you do.  You are such a gift. 

Nine months into this crazy ride with you, it still doesn’t really feel real all the time.  I still have moments where I’m convinced this is all one big, long, crazy dream that I’m going to wake up from eventually.  I hope to God that never happens!  It’s just surreal.  I never imagined, two years ago, that this is where I’d be today and what I’d be doing.  Picking up your toys and clothes and crumbs while you sleep, waiting so impatiently for 2:30 when you’ll wake up from your nap and sing to me to come get you, then look at me with the brightest light in your eyes when I walk in the room, as if to say, “Yes!  I knew you’d come back!”  Even though I’ve dreamed of this role – this life – for as long as I can remember, no one ever really tells you just how incredible it actually is.  And honestly, how could they?  No one else has a Lily Reese :)

I think all your “milestones” are pretty much the same as last month, for the most part.  Nothing too new to report!  We’re tweaking a new eating schedule with more fruits/vegetables and less formula bottles.  You aren’t really sold on juice yet.  You drank it great the first few times we gave it to you, but now you just seem annoyed that we would even consider poisoning you with such a thing.  You’re a mess.  Still just the two bottom teeth, still crawling and pulling up all over, not quite stable enough (or confident enough?) or STILL enough to let go and stand on your own yet.  You’re too fidgety!  You do say “da da” constantly, which Daddy obviously loves.  But you haven’t quite made the connection that “da da” = Daddy.  To you, “da da” = everything.  You wave bye-bye and say “da da.”  When I tell you to say “ma ma” you say “da da.”  It’s a pretty universal word in the Lily-dictionary.  Precious as all get out, though!  Nothing else too new to report, I don’t think.

Nine months.  Wow.  Unbelievable.  My heart still skips a beat each morning when I hear you singing over the baby monitor, and an uncontrollable level of excitement comes over me because I get to go in your room and get you!  Again!  Another day!  It still feels so new, and so freaking exhilarating every single day.  Because the truth of the matter is that each night I go to sleep - absolutely sure that my heart is going to just burst in my sleep because it can’t possibly contain all the love I have for you - and then I wake up to find that not only am I still in one piece, but my love has grown even stronger and bigger and more powerful and unconditional.  And I’m shocked by the intensity, day after day.  I still have moments when I look at you and I’m just so overcome with love and emotion that I just break down.  It’s all too beautiful to contain, and I just feel like I’ll burst at any moment. 

Lily Reese, you are the absolute light of my life.  I am so blindsided by you every day, and just so amazed by every single move you make.  Being a mommy is a beautiful thing, there’s no doubt about that.  But, Lily, being your mommy is the most awe-inspiring experience that God has ever created.  You are the very best part of me, always and forever.

I love you to the moon and back.

Love, Mommy

Happy 9 Months!

 

Is this real life?  Someone has to be Punking me, because there is no way on Earth my 7lb 4oz baby was NINE months old yesterday!!  Seriously, where does the time go? 

Some 9 month fun facts about Lily Reese:

Loves:
- Bath time!  Definitely her favorite time of day
- Swimming in her baby pool
- Swinging
- Our dog, Carson (that makes one of us!)
- Being told "no."  She thinks it's hilarious.
- Eating.  Eating ANYTHING.  This includes books, grass, sand, tags (she has a serious tag obsession ... it's her favorite part of any toy), phones, grout ...
- Her two blankies (woobies).  She has slept with Aden and Anais swaddle blankets since she was born, and now she's inseparable from them.  Her face lights up when you hand them to her, she gets a huge smile on her face, and she buries her face in them and kisses them. 
- Being outside

Not crazy about:
- Anything that requires patience.  Waiting for her food/bottle mainly.  She is definitely a need-it-NOW kind of girl
- Getting her diaper changed / getting dressed and undressed.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  She is too busy, and tries to crawl off the changing table
- That's honestly about it!  She is very easy to please!

Feeding:
- We're working out the kinks on a new feeding schedule still.  What seems to be working the best is a formula bottle and oatmeal and/or fruit for breakfast, a bottle of diluted juice and a fruit and vegetable for lunch, a formula bottle and a small snack (a piece of cheese, some banana, some Puffs, something like that) in the afternoon, a bottle of diluted juice and a fruit and veggie for dinner, and a bottle right before bed.  This seems to be working well most days.  Any suggestions are welcome!  Like I said, still working out the kinks.

Schedule:
Usually...
7:00 - Wake up
7:15 - Breakfast
9:00 - 10ish - Nap
11:30ish - Lunch
12:00 - 2ish - Nap
3:30 - Snack
5ish - 5:30 - Short nap
6:30 - Dinner
7:00 - Bath
7:30 - Bottle
8:00 - Bed time
All of the in between times are just play time for the most part, during the week.  Since I work from home, we're kind of limited on going places.  Some days we go for walks during the day when I have a lull in work - if not during the work day then we almost always go walk when I get off at 3:30.  Sometimes I bring my computer outside and work while she plays in the grass or something.  Just depends!  This schedule seems to be working perfectly for us, though, so I'm glad for that!

What she's eating:
- We do homemade, fresh foods for Lily.  I think she has eaten jarred food maybe two or three times, but she's not crazy about it since she is used to homemade.  I have a Baby Bullet and just process fresh fruits and vegetables for her, basically.  It's super easy, but fairly time consuming when I do a month's worth at a time.  I realize this isn't for everyone, and not everyone has the time or desire to do homemade baby food, and I totally get that.  Everyone has their own preference!  We just decided early on that we wanted her to get more natural, wholesome, nutrients from her meals and less of the additives and sugars and processed foods.  We also figured it would be an easier transition to eating fruits and vegetables when she's already used to them, obviously, as opposed to switching her from something so sweet to the "real stuff."  It's working for her and for us, and I'm glad I have the time to do it for her!
- Right now she's eating carrots, butternut squash, zucchini, green beans (not her favorite), green peas (will not tolerate them ... she cries hysterically when they go in her mouth), sweet potatoes, pinto beans, white beans, avocado, bananas, apples, peaches, pears, and mixed berries.  The only thing I buy frozen is the mixed berries; everything else I buy in the produce section just like our own food. 
- We are wanting to start trying protein (sometimes we give her an egg yolk, and she does eat beans) in the form of meat.  Since we do homemade food though, I am having an issue blending up chicken and giving her that.  I am going to see what her Dr. suggests at her 9-month check up next week.  Again, any suggestions are welcome!
- She is self-feeding as much as we can let her, given the foods she's eating.  Next time I make her food, I am going to do less blending and more just portioning and chopping into small pieces.  She feeds herself her snacks (cheese, Puffs, etc.) and feeds herself banana, avocado, and anything else I can give her without blending.  She definitely prefers to do it herself!

Random:
- She is 18lb 5oz.
- Size 2 diapers, during the day and at night
- Just growing into her 9 month clothes (she's really short!)
- Crawling ALL OVER and standing up on everything
- She is way too busy and fast to even try to stand without holding on
- She hasn't quite figured out that she can walk while holding onto things (couch, our hands, etc.)
- She says "da da" all the time, but the meaning is interchangeable with everything
- She waves bye-bye, but when you tell her to say "bye-bye" she waves and says "da da"
- She still only has the 2 bottom teeth that she's had for like 3 months

I think that about covers Lily at 9 months!  Watching her grow and change is the greatest blessing in the universe, and I cannot imagine a moment of my life without her in it.  She is the sweetest, funniest, nuttiest baby in the world, and I can't understand how my heart doesn't just explode!