Those Things Can Wait

Today has been a particularly busy day with work, Lily has been much more wild than usual if that’s possible, and I’m still trying to put the finishing touches on our house we moved into about 6 weeks ago.  It’s just been a crazy, non-stop day.  At one point, I walked 20 feet away to go use the bathroom, and when I came back not a minute later, this is what I found. 

  She had dumped all of her dirty clothes out, climbed onto the bottom shelf of her changing table, pulled the bottom drawer out sideways, and fished out her favorite toy – her comb.  It’s been that kind of day.

As it came time for her 12:00 bottle, I had a lull in my work day and a million things to catch up on.  Lily is quite capable of holding her own bottle and feeding it to herself, so this seemed like a golden opportunity to confine her in her highchair, let her feed herself, and get as much done as I possibly could in the 10 minutes it would take her to finish.  But then it occurred to me – I have been working and busy all morning, while she has been entertaining herself (albeit wildly) and playing alone.  Really?  Do I really need to “make use of my time” by doing chores?  Those things can wait.  What better use of my time than to enjoy my baby and love on her while I can?

The laundry will be there later.  The dishes will be there later.  My hair can dry itself.  Lily honestly doesn’t care one way or another, bless her heart, if I am dressed with makeup on or look like a scary monster in my pajamas.  The vacuum isn’t going to magically get up and run out of the house, the mop isn’t going anywhere, and the mail will still be in the mailbox this evening.

But my little girl is only going to be little for so long.  She is only going to be 8 months old for 2 more weeks.  Those chores can wait, because she won’t.  I can’t tell her, “Hold on a second and stop growing while Mommy gets caught up on what I need to do, then I will be ready!”  She’s growing and changing whether I like it or not, and regardless of how much time I have.  She is on warp speed right now, and I can either have a perfect house or enjoy each moment of this amazing time.  Personally, I’d rather live in total disarray than say I was too busy to enjoy my baby.

I’m not naïve enough to think she will be so sweet and squishy and lovey forever, or even that she will always want to spend time with me.  As I was rocking her and feeding her, she just looked up at me with those beautiful, big brown eyes that look at me as if I’m the second coming.  That isn’t going to last forever.  There is going to come a day when she doesn’t want me to hold her, or rock her, or feed her.  But right now, I’m so thankful that day isn’t today.  Today, she loves it.  I think she looks forward to those calm, peaceful moments just as much as I do.  That melts my heart and warms my soul in ways that I can’t explain. 

I mentioned today on Facebook that I realized earlier this morning that I hadn’t even looked at my planner in 6 weeks.  If you know me, you know this is nearly impossible to believe.  That sucker is color coded, time slotted, and absolutely compulsive and ridiculous.  I don’t go anywhere without it, and it has always been an extension of myself.  Today, that realization was odd.  I felt like I don’t even know who I am.  A great friend replied saying, “You’ve been living life!  Enjoy it.”  Oh.my.gosh.  How true.  I’ve been so busy LIVING that I haven’t felt the need to try and plan and control and manipulate every moment of my day.  I haven’t felt the need to fill my days with meaningless tasks, just to check them off a list.  No.  Those things can wait.  My baby girl isn’t waiting, though.  She’s living her life, and I’m not going to miss out on a moment of it.